It is almost Easter.  Not that we don’t have a couple more weeks before it gets here, but Easter is close, and tangible, and I am excited about it.  When I left my house for work today there were white dogwood petals that had blown in from someone else’s yard and scattered all over my stoop and front walk.   And everything was blooming – camellias and azaleas and Bradford pear trees (well, mostly the Bradford pears still look kind of green and fuzzy, but it’s a start).  Everything was so spring-like, and bright, and happy, it made me pretty much want to put on bunny ears and start handing out candy.*

Now, I do understand that rabbits and chocolate eggs have a lot more to do with pagan wackiness and fertility cults than the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead (way to go, J.C.  I love You.).  But.  Eggs are symbolic of new life (they contain whole worlds, and they are kind of the shape of worlds, too); and rabbits are cute and furry; and I do not have anything against some well-placed kitsch in the middle of my holy celebration.  In fact I am all for well-placed kitsch at certain key holiday moments (and moderate amounts of champagne).

And I also understand that it is still Lent, and the resurrection really means something if you understand exactly what it was that went before, and the fact that Jesus was killed dead (all dead; not just mostly dead) first; that He had to be, and it was all for us.  And I like that the Church takes a whole season to identify with Him in His suffering; because I love Him, and because I think He deserves it, and because I think we learn something from Him in those painful, thoughtful, solemn moments.

But.  Easter will be here in less than a month, and nature is breaking out all over the place, God’s life, invested in our green world, is breaking out all over the place, and I am kind of pre-celebrating.  A friend of mine just had a baby three days ago, and I recently found out a friend of mine in Georgia is pregnant, and it seems symbolic, maybe.  I have high expectations for the coming season, and I am asking Jesus to birth expectancy, and new life -- and wonder -- into all of us.

Also come Easter I will be drinking champagne and playing shuffleboard on the captain’s deck if you would like to join me.

--Elizabeth L.

 

*I am in complete agreement with N. T. Wright that Easter should be celebrated for much longer than just one Sunday.

...And Then Go Again, To The Next Further Removed Level Of That Same Exact Feigned Humility

Sometimes it can be very scary to look inside yourself.  If you're anything like me, there is a person that you would like to be and hope to be, but upon inward inspection that person is rarely found.  Often, I feel like an actor playing some great role called "life", because I feel like I know so little about myself.  It seems like the person I think I am and the person that people think and say I am are two entirely different people.  There is constant inner turmoil because, for the first time in my life, at The River, I have to come to terms with what is happening inside of me so I can love people outwardly.  What I see in my heart is selfishness, indignance, and judgementalism.  These things need to go.  

It's not like I can't love anyone with these vices running through my heart, I find it easy to love the people who I consider my friends.  However, there are levels of love and sacrifice that I feel I can't achieve until I let myself succumb to complete selflessness.  

A piece of myself that I have lately begun to notice and grieve over, is my knack to compare myself to people, positively and negatively.  I was raised in a way that certain moral ideas come easily and I don't see grey area in my life around them.  Smoking pot, abortion, having sex before marriage, homosexuality are things that I have always been taught are wrong, no ifs, ands or buts.  As of late (last 2 years or so), I have begun to understand God's grace to a small degree (because I know I will never fully grasp it).  It's taken a minute, but I do know that these things are argued over and are big deals to some Christ followers.  This has added grey area to me over these things, forcing me to look again at everything I have been taught.  My point in telling you this is that my selfish heart will still try to find solace for the things that it is doing by saying, "at least I'm not doing those things"or "at least I'm better off than that person.".  This goes off in my head almost as a reaction to hearing about someone or seeing someone doing something that I choose not to do or haven't done.  Even though, the things that I do and think about are still devastatingly wicked.  Honestly, I have seen this as a problem and am trying to focus on stopping, until then God's grace is sufficient.  

On the flip side of that, I also compare myself harshly with my friends.  From speaking with other friends about this, I think it's pretty common.  It can destroy community, though.  I find myself becoming bitter and jealous of my friends because of the way that they are or what they have accomplished.  I can end up not wanting to be very social on account of this introspective judgement and usually if I'm hanging out with someone who I am envying, I go into a little shell of self-pity.  How pathetic is that?!  This is also something that I have pinpointed and am trying to work on through grace.

 I hope (know) that you, my community, will show grace upon me as well, as I strive along with you to become who I was made to be.  It seems like Paul, who called himself the "Chief of Sinners" and had a constant thorn in his side, understood what it was like to fight toward an unlikely goal.  

Remembering our chains.

Jason.

Tikkun Olam, or "repairing the world"

This Sunday Sam continued his series on The Word, this time focusing on the Law. In Judaism, the law is hugely important. The 613 commandments from God in the Hebrew Bible are the way they understand what God wants from them and the best way to live His way. I think Christian tradition views it in a more strict and constricting way: "We have to do these things or God will be so pissed!" That's sad to me, as I doubt God keeps Excel spreadsheets with all the commandments in the Bible on one axis and all our names on another, checking off each box as we break different commandments.

Rabbi Lawrence Kushner explains the reason Jews try to follow the Law in an interesting way:

"The Holy One of Being has an intention that is other than you. God's ego is not yours. In the words of the prophet Isaiah, 'My plans are not your plans.' Not because you don't want to do what God wants, but because you can only comprehend a tiny part of God's plan. I'm God; you're not. This is the beginning of the reconciliation between God's ego and our own."

In other words, following the law just helps us get closer to God's plan for earth. There's no way humans could completely understand what God wants, so we just have to do the best we can while we're here. I think The River is really trying to seek after what God wants, as we investigate the Bible and the life of Jesus, trying to understand what was important to Him and applying it to our current world and situation.

One more quote from Kushner:

"In Judaism, 'the word' is both the instrument of creation and the primary souvenir of God's love."

This sentence is referring to the text of holy scripture (including the Law), but I think it fits for Jesus as well. Jesus is our creator and the best representation of God's love. So Jesus and the Law point us in the direction we should go...

Always,
Beth

To Whom It May Concern...

"I think that the Church is the only thing that is going to make the terrible world we are coming to endurable; the only thing that makes the Church endurable is that it is somehow the body of Christ and that on this we are fed."
-Flannery O’Conner – A Letter to her friend, July 20, 1955

I laughed while having dinner tonight with a friend from our community who suggested that it must be intimidating for a single female to visit our church who is aware of how many single twenty something males attend our gatherings. I imagined a little red riding hood-like character walking into a den of big bad wolves as we talked… (not that the single guys in our community are "big" "bad" or "wolves" for that matter… more so the image just made me laugh.)

But in the midst of our joking, my friend sighed and said with more then a hint of seriousness… "Just a bunch of lonely guys…"

Now, I’m not attempting to pour salt in the wound here for anyone… I myself am a single, twenty-something male… but instead, I want to confess and expose my own insecurity of often times feeling "alone" and "disconnected" from the rest of creation and ultimately to God.

I wonder if for a moment we were honest with each other… how many of us have felt or still do feel this way on a regular basis? Does anyone else besides me fear being alone?

And perhaps this is a question or feeling that also resonated with or even plagued the mind of the writer(s) of the creation story found in the book of Genesis. In chapter 2 verse 18, the writer describes that God created the man in such a way that it wasn’t good for him to be alone… rather, he needed a partner… someone who would walk beside him, understand him, love him… someone who would enter into a covenant with him… someone to be in communion or community with him.

And according to the writer, God called this "good."

In years past I interpreted this passage of scripture to mean strictly that a man or woman should search out another individual to be with… or to marry… and this action would resolve the individual’s feelings of "aloneness" or "disconnectedness"…

This caused me, for much of my youth, to have some sort strange tunnel vision in my relationships with my friends of the opposite sex... females were catergorized as "possibilities for more" and "just friends matierial".... and this demeaned the women and devalued a good portion of the friendships...

But as I’ve grown older I’ve become less convinced that this narrow interpretation is all there is to this passage… what about those who are not old enough to be married? Or those who have been married previously and cannot fathom marrying again? Is there no cure for their feelings of disconnectedness?

Perhaps even some of those who are currently married in our community can testify to the fact that once you were married… your insecurities and fear of being alone didn’t instantly dissolve…

Or what about taking simple mathematics into consideration… in a 2006 survey of the male to female ration in the world today statistics showed that there were some 33 million more men on the face of the earth than women…

But according to the scriptures, it’s not good for man (or woman for that matter) to be alone… so how is this resolved? How is it possible for us as individuals, who mathematically cannot all have a special someone out their waiting for us, to not feel disconnected… or alone.

It’s become my realization, specifically over the last year since I have begun attending the River gatherings… that God’s prescription to our disconnectedness is not found solely in romantic relationships (although I am not discrediting that romantic relationships and marriage are definitely part of God’s plan for some)… but instead God’s prescription for humanity's fears and feelings of disconnectedness is actually found in ‘the Church."

Over the last year I have found such encouragement and comfort in our church body… from the times we spend in our gatherings at the building to venturing out into our host community to volunteer and love on the men at the missions… from those who have opened up their homes for community meals and game nights to those who have offered those of us who have struggled to get on our feet a place to stay and a table to eat at… laughing together, crying together, shouldering each others burdens, confessing our own faults and correcting those in love who have wandered away…

We have shared meals, we have shared our homes…our families, our time… and our hearts…

We have realized that it isn’t good to be alone and we have chosen to live our lives together…

Perhaps this is the hope also of the author of the book of Hebrews when He penned these words… "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

Tonight I just want to encourage you if you are feeling alone or disconnected… as I have many times myself and even tonight… to take a moment to meditate and pray for our own community… perhaps you are not as alone as you think.

God’s Peace.
Josh

The Word is God

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God...The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. -- John 1: 1 & 14a

I have this huge desire which has often propelled me forward towards really knowing God. I don’t want quaint metaphors, and I don’t want someone to ramble off to me ambiguous lines of metaphysical thought. I want straight understanding, the kind I can get from a physics book, and I can’t have it, and it pains me to no end. I’ve spent nights ripping pages out of Bibles in frustration at it all. I’ve wept alone at two in the morning because I’ve felt absolutely alone from my searching.

I’ve had these moments where I can stare out at some natural event and think, “This must be evidence,” but those moments are far more often eclipsed by the mundane routine which affords me little hope that my eyes will be open to see the glory of God revealed in a way so that I can say in this moment I saw God’s awesomeness fully represented.

I find that is mostly the problem, though. I’m searching for astrological signs, cosmic wonders, and events like the parting of seas as evidence for my creator, and while these may allude to God, they grant me no certainty of him.

Then I fix my gaze upon Jesus the Christ, the Word made flesh. Jesus is an enigma to me. How can it be that the Star Maker chooses the impoverished and the outcasts as dining partners? As C.S. Lewis points out, this is no story that any of us could have invented. It is the truest thing we have ever heard and the most fantastic, and in it the apex of God’s creative work is realized, and in it the vision of God which I have long sought is revealed.

I seek amongst the stars one that is fixed as a guide. If only I could remember that even the stars exist because of God’s activity. I must look beyond the stars, beyond sunsets, beyond babies, beyond all the wonders of the universe to the Activity which makes them possible, The Word.