I'll Ring Your Doorbell Until You Let Me In, And I Can No Longer Tell Where "You" End And "I" Begin...

"On a cold december, just after dusk, as the sun bid its cordial goodbyes, we get split to pieces like an apple-seed husk to reveal the tree that's been hidden inside. We're a sapling caught in a tattered sirah at the seams from the shepherd's purse-belt. Broke the news to mom: we found a better Mom we call "G-d" (which she took quite well) what a beautiful G-d, what a beautiful G-d, what a beautiful G-d there must be! what a beautiful G-d, what a beautiful G-d, what a beautiful G-d there must be! what a beautiful G-d, what a beautiful G-d, what a beautiful G-d there must be! what a beautiful G-d, what a beautiful G-d, what a beautiful G-d You must be!"  

I have been known to be a pretty emotional person when it comes to art, mainly music and movies. I'm sure that a good number of friends who have attended concerts with me can remember looking over at me, at some point during the show, and seeing tears streaming down my face. Sometimes, it can be a bit embarrassing, because I'm usually with a group of guys who will call me on it, but never, by any means, am I ashamed to have that kind of connection with the performer on stage and their art. A year ago, I got the chance to see one of my favorite bands, mewithoutYou, for the first time. This was a sweet victory for me, because a month before that, I had travelled to New Orleans to see them and walked into the venue as they were walking off stage. So seeing them this time meant that much more. During their set, the band danced frivolously all around the stage as they are very well-known to do. Their audience sang, at the top of their lungs, lyrics, which I'm sure everyone in the room could connect to in one way or another. In the midst of all of this, was me. For an hour-and-a-half, I sang every word and cried my eyes out. There was a reason for this sort of emotion. I had never experienced worship like this before. It was a total release of energy and fear and emotion. I didn't care that anyone was watching, because God was there and he was seriously interacting with me.  

Fast-forward to a year later. 2 weeks ago today, to be exact. I got to experience the same thing in the same place, with some great friends. This time things were much more laid back for me. I was still singing every word. There were tears at a few points (mostly while singing the lyrics I typed out above). However, this time, I took the opportunity to observe what was going on around me. Not many, conservative Christians would walk into this place where alcohol is being pushed at all points and a loud band is playing on stage and think that this is a place where worship was taking place, but I could see it. Everywhere, there were people with closed eyes singing songs and gratefully lifting their hands to One worthy of worship. People were dancing like maniacs (on the floor), probably much akin to the way a scantily clad king would dance in the presence of such a good God. This was something I have never experienced in church, which is sad because it felt so incredibly real.  

There is something inside of us that makes us desire to sing, or paint, or write or build or fix or direct as a means of expressing our innermost being. I know that because I can feel it all the time. I'm a drummer and a writer, so I constantly desire to play music or get something down on paper, because I am inspired by something greater than me, I'm going to call it God.  

I want to spur discussion because this is a topic that is very important to me and I value my community's input. Why doesn't the "worship" I have come to know from church settings resemble or come close to the worship I experience in settings like above? When we play music or present art in Gatherings, should we consider everyone's tastes to keep everyone interested? How do we do that? Do you think that the problem lies in the musical genre or the tempo?  

Al dio sia la gloria, Amen, Amen. 

Jason.

James' Warning (Rich People Suck)

From James 5 (NLT):

1 Look here, you rich people: Weep and groan with anguish because of all the terrible troubles ahead of you. ²Your wealth is rotting away, and your fine clothes are moth-eaten rags. ³ Your gold and silver have become worthless. The very wealth you were counting on will eat away your flesh like fire. This treasure you have accumulated will stand as evidence against you on the day of judgment. ⁴ For listen! Hear the cries of the field workers whom you have cheated of their pay. The wages you held back cry out against you. The cries of those who harvest your fields have reached the ears of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. ⁵ You have spent your years on earth in luxury, satisfying your every desire. You have fattened yourselves for the day of slaughter. ⁶ You have condemned and killed innocent people, who do not resist you.

James is just laying into rich people here, and at first read, I'm saying, "Yeah, get 'em, James!" ... And then I realize, "Oh...that's me." 

It's confession time, "andddddd go!" (said in my best Sam Crum voice)

I've never been a wealthy field owner, but I sure have squandered money away selfishly and stolen money God gave me to use for His purposes. I have spent my years on earth in virtual luxury, satisfying (nearly) all my desires. I'm selfish, selfish, selfish. I don't always realize this because I think to myself, "I worked for this money, so this money is mine." What I forget is that anything I get is simply what God is letting me borrow so that I can help others. I'm supposed to just be the money manager, keeping in mind what the Boss would want me to do with the money. Does a boss like for his managers to spend company money on themselves? Nope. I have to learn to keep this in mind when I am spending paychecks. 

When I think about money, all I see is TENSION. Do I have to provide shelter and food for myself and family? Yep, otherwise I would die. But when does providing food and shelter drift into the territory of selfishness? How much is too much? Do I need the biggest and nicest house? Do I need to eat filet mignon? Money scares me because I trust it too much. It very easily becomes a god to me. I trust it completely, and I'm scared when I don't have it. I haven't ever had a lot of money, but I sure love to hold onto what I have. 

I just have to remember that it's not my money. 

Have I killed innocent people with a weapon in hand? No. But I have bought a dress instead of supporting a missionary. I have spent embarrassing amounts of money on restaurant food out of laziness and selfishness instead of trying to get out of debt so I can honor God in the way I manage His money. I have gone to the movies instead of helping out people that could use my help financially. I have bought expensive makeup just because I'm vain instead of being hospitable. So, really, my selfishness may have caused someone to not have food or medical attention that my money could have provided, had I stopped and thought about what's really important. 

Help me, River. Help me learn to treat the money I am entrusted with wisely. Help me make godly choices with what I have. God, rescue me from myself. 

We Keep Our Confessions Long And When We Pray, We Keep It Short...

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (James 4:1-10) I have 3 cousins, the youngest of which is 6. Anytime we have a large family meal or holiday, being from a large Southern Baptist family, we gather everyone together and ask God to bless our family, friends, and food. Every single time that we go to say this blessing, my youngest cousin volunteers to pray on our behalf. It always goes something like this: "God our father (God our father) once again (once again) thank you for your blessings (thank you for your blessings), Amen (Amen)." Obviously, at his age it's more of a game or a desire for attention. He probably doesn't really much of a desire to truly understand God or understand the blessings he has received from him. Just tossing words to the sky. Now, I'm not saying this to mock my 6-year-old cousin, because, honestly, he's as cute as can be and he is well on his way to breaking some hearts (with some Godly instruction). I put that out there because a good portion of the times when I pray, I am putting about the same amount of heart into it. I will go through entire days without thinking about talking to God so, out of guilt, I will toss some words to the sky. I will feel convicted about something, and, out of guilt, I will toss some words to the sky. I will get into my car or pull up at work and realize that the day is about to be crappy, so, out of horrible selfishness, I will toss some words to the sky. It's awful. I give my Restorer less time, in a normal week, than I do my Mom, or Daniel, or Death Cab For Cutie, or Evan Williams, or J. R. Reynolds, or Tony Hawk, or Wes Anderson. The majority of these people have done nothing to help me (other than the gift of distraction). I'm getting off track a bit, the point is, I usually only really, really, honestly pray when my ass is on the line or my interests are being tampered with. I pray out of my own selfish desires. This is the majority of the time. It's not like I will never pray for other people or for people groups, but I have never really set out to make prayer a communal thing. Honestly, that seems to have to be the point of prayer. If we are to lift each other up and bear each other's burdens, then surely when we pray, we should ask for the uplifting and constant refreshing of the Kingdom community. This is where the Heart of God lives, His children seeking His desires and seeking the best for everyone around them. Moreover, it would seem that this sort of prayer would require some sort of action on our part. As Sam has brought up many times over the past few weeks, we cannot simply tell someone in need that we will pray for them and to be on their way with God's Blessings. We must be sure that to the best of our abilities, their needs are met. Does this mean that we overlook our own needs? Possibly, the Son Of Man had no place to lay his head. I'm not saying to neglect the body or beat it into submission, I am suggesting that we constantly put other's need above our own. You know, whenever my cousin sings that prayer before our family meals, his dad never looks at him with disdain or anger. He never calls him a moron or tells him to go to his room. He looks at him with a loving smile, and says, "Good job, Buddy." I'm sure that I have reached a point of spiritual maturity, where I shouldn't be getting a "good job, Buddy" from God, but I hope that when I pray, there is a patient smile on the face of God and the understanding that I might catch on...someday. I

Things People Do With Their Tongues. Or, What's It Like to be the Only Somebody In the Room?

So tagging on to things Samantha has already said, and Sam has said, too -- words create, words can be salvation, and words can totally break a person. Sometimes (& I have been guilty of this myself, hence my mentioning it), in addition to the good, beautiful, bad, or dumbass (can you say dumbass in a church blog? Edit me if 'no.') things Christians say, it's been observed that we can commit sins of omission by what we don't mention. Today I'm not just thinking of kind words, compliments and well-deserved praises left to die in our mouths (although we can't know in advance what a huge validation some seemingly small, back-patting kindness can be). I'm thinking about the times when we don't use our mouths to stand up for the oppressed. And I'm wondering if, maybe inadvertently, some of us don't do it because we're nominally on the oppressor's side.

This may not apply to anybody else, this may only apply to me, and if so, great, I have something to work on. But I noticed last night that I haven't been letting certain things bother me as much as I should. I was reading about a radio broadcast that went out May 28th in California -- a bunch of morning show hosts (& if you've ever listened to a morning show, you know how obscene and gossipy morning shows can be) were having some sort of right-wing red-blooded American-male moment (for, like, 30 minutes) and started bashing children who struggle with gender

dysphoria, including, no joke, suggesting that a good way to cure kids with transgender identities/issues would be to beat them with shoes, or give them electroshock therapy. They went on, you know, calling these kids freaks, saying ruder things, and their stated, baseline justification for being so awful was that of moral superiority, that they could unleash all the hate and verbal corruption they wanted because their views on gender and sexuality were the correct ones, the good ones.

Now, I don't know that these talk-show hosts are professing Christians (I hope not); and, with the exception of people like the God Hates Fags guy, I hope most people who take their relationship with Jesus seriously would never act that way. But one thing that article made me realize is that I don't remember the last time I did anything about

people who did act like that, the last time I spoke out about it, did any letter-writing or public awareness deals or anything like that. I forgot that people were still being murdered and committing suicide because of the horrifying level of self-righteous disgust and rejection aimed at their take on sexuality and/or gender identity, and I honestly put the awareness that kids and adults who fall under the queer/GLBT umbrella need defense into a little box in my head. And I think one reason why is that once I became a Christian, and became convinced that gay and transgendered lifestyles weren't God's best plan for people, the GLBT community became a group of people that needed to be convinced that I was right, more than anything else. Loved, sure -- but loved with an armchair philosopher's non-involvement.

What was once a very vivid awareness, on my part, of the moral hate-crimes being committed daily against these precious (and vulnerable) members of our society faded and pretty much died once I became a Christian, because their ideas didn't line up with mine anymore. After reading about that radio broadcast, and thinking about the incalculable hurt that must have caused some people who heard it, or heard about it, thinking about people that I know that would have been hurt by that, I'm just wondering how often we don't speak out for those people, because of a sense of moral superiority. And I'd welcome your thoughts.

"That's What He Said"-Affluxual Tongues

"If any person thinks they are religious (Christian/Follower of Jesus) and does not bridle/keep in check their tongue, they deceive themselves and their religion is worthless.............with the tongue we bless God and curse people who are made in the image of God.....from this same mouth both blessing and cursing-this, just should not be" James 1:26, 3:9-10.

"Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into The Christ (Jesus)" Ephesians 4:15

I learned a Kingdom living lesson years ago as a youth pastor. Being sound in fundamental evangelicalism- I was grounded in "the truth" (as I/we saw it). It didn't matter what I thought, or you thought, or anyone thought- all that mattered was what God says in His Word- the Bible. The B-I-B-L-E, yes that's the book for me, I stand alone on the word of God, the B-I-B-L-E! this is all I knew. In my love for this Truth (as I saw it)- I wasn't concerned for what others thought. (I know that the truth- was interpreted, which is why I keep saying- as I/we saw it). As a youth Pastor the youth would often begin discussion with the phrase- "I think....." to which I would respond- "I don't care what you think" (please hear this out. I know it's tempting for some to be quick to "Speak" before they hear the whole matter...)- I thought it was "cute", "Funny"! As best I can remember, my heart was pure in motive. I didn't hate those kids- I loved them as much as I could at that time. Samantha and I gave our own souls for those kids. So, that statement didn't come from my heart (relatively speaking- I/we am/are far from perfect and certainly are not complete in our love. I just meant to communicate that we gave our lives as much as we could through Jesus). They were in our apartment all the time. We went to just about every sports games, drama event, presentation, recital, concert-we had opened our entire lives to this group of teens.

One day two girls had come to me after a gathering to share their struggles in life. They, like many teens felt unloved in the world by everyone-their peers, their teachers, their parents. I asked them- You know Samantha and I love you though, right? They said- you don't care about us. I was dumbfounded-speechless. I just sat there thinking of all that we had done specifically for these two girls. I had watched countless 8th grade girls basketball games. Dealt with the other girls crazy mom-on numerous accounts-b/c I loved them, we loved them. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I asked them- why do you think I don't care? They responded- "because you say all the time-'I don't care what you think. I don't care".

What they heard was- Sam doesn't care! Sam doesn't care what I think, about me, my dreams, my struggles. This was devastating to me. I didn't even know what to say to them. I remember I just kept apologizing through my tears and crackling voice. (I still speak to one of these girls frequently thanks to FB and MS as well as several from that youth group)- It was a PROFOUND day for me. My heart was broken that day. In my love for TRUTH (as I saw it)- I didn't consider how I was heard. I didn't consider- what message is being communicated (I've come along way from the thinking I had then, but the Lesson is still applicable for this story/experience)-

I thought I was promoting a message of TRUTH. And what was heard was a message of hate. What's more important? the message? Love? or is there a third option (0r even more than 3)?
Perhaps the path is that the message is Love! Love is the Truth! Not love w/o morals, boundaries, rules, etc, but Love is the Truth, Love is the Gospel!

Paul exhorts us to speak the truth lovingly, because Truth spoken (whether it is truth as I saw it, or Truth as I attempt to understand and embrace)-without love- is not Truth. If I say God loves you, but I say it angrily, I am not really communicating that God is loving, but rather a selfish self pleaser who is pissed off at everyone. Speaking lovingly is soooo deep, so wide that it can't be figured out, it can't be contrived into formulas. It's about tone, but more than tone. It's about words, but more than words. Its about facial expressions, but more than facial expressions. Its about all this, and infinitely more. Speaking the truth lovingly is to actually speak the truth. And to speak it hatefully, indifferently, carelessly- is to Lie, speak falsehood (this isn't meant to say that we are more powerful than Truth...e.g. that God can't overcome our failures. )

The Kingdom Community, the church is the Incarnation of Jesus through the Spirit to the world today. We are Jesus in some mysterious way, for the world today. If we speak unlovingly to those we see as enemies (a subtle reminder of Eph. 6:12 "we do not fight against flesh and blood"), those we fear, we don't understand, those we are disgusted by (all these show how we don't value the image of God in people)- we deny the truth.

This doesn't mean that we can never say we disagree with the life someone lives. Jesus, the apostles, the prophets, the church historically (both in good ways and bad ways) have spoken about changing from the path of hell and death to heaven and life. (Which is the Gospel Truth we are to speak ). But our speaking must not be in hateful propositions. It must be in a loving tongue that seeks the highest good of the other. But, that message won't be heart if it's latticed with hate.

Youth won't feel loved if we speak of them disrespectfully. Homosexuals won't hear the message if it is saturated with slurs (like Flamers, Queers etc) of hatred. African American Community won't hear love through confederate flags and cultural expressions flowing from historical hate. Poor people won't hear the gospel through messages about laziness. The sexually promiscuous won't hear if we speak judgmentally. And all these are made in the image of God.

Whatever message we ascribe to Jesus (and it appears there are many disagreements on this)- He spoke the message lovingly. He didn't call the woman caught in adultery a whore. He didn't call the demon possessed man (who some argue was gay) a flaming fudge packer. He didn't call the woman at the well a desperate housewife. He didn't call Peter a impetuous fool, or Judas a backstabbing jerk. He spoke with the utmost of love. Whatever holiness he spoke of it, it was one of communal love (Matthew 5:43-48) for all people. Whatever highest good he sought of others, it was a message of loving God, loving self correctly, loving others- and this message of love was speaking lovingly.

I fall way short of this. I certainly don't write as one who has arrived. I write this as one who is in a community that is for so many in NW Florida a shining light in the loneliness of darkness, as seasoned salt in a mundane world- and what NW Florida and the uttermost parts of the world needs (including ourselves) is a Community wholly committed to living out the beautiful, loving Reality of Jesus. It's a tall glass of fresh water for a myriad of people who have been drinking bitter, dirty water and others who have been drinking chemical laced water of Western church. But, we often allow the bitter, dirty water of our still messed up lives seep in-to our own despair and continual ruin of the world.

Friends, brothers and sisters- Our mission is urgent. We can laugh and make fun- but what God has brought us together to be and do-is so critical. We must BRIDLE our tongues.

I love you all- "That's what HE (Jesus) said"! I love you all, which is hard to hear through my own untamed hate-filled tongue.

May we "stir to love and good works, & WORDS" as we see the day of Jesus approaching!

Aspiring, Dreaming, of being An Afflux of Authentic Life with you all-
sc

Tip of the Tongue

Last night at The Riv we examined James 3:3-12 together. To summarize the talk succinctly: "Life and Death are in the power of the tongue".

The tongue is a funny organ (I don't know if it is actually an organ, but it has made some sweet music)! We use it in our speech. It makes distinct sounds in our communications. In addition it is how we taste things....

A few weeks ago I was eating a flavored polish dog- apple Gouda to be exact-. It was very tasty. Bella (my funny little two year old girl) said- "Can I have a taste"? Interesting phrasing I thought. I said- "I don't think you'll like it"......"I will, I will, I will daddy" came her response. So I handed her the bun enshrined dog and she opened her cute little mouth widely! She bit into the apple Gouda brat-initially w/ a look of "See, I DO LIKE IT DADDY" on her face. Gradually, her expression changed. Now her face was communication a look of- "Eww, this is gross!". Suddenly, w/o warning, she opened her mouth and let the Glorious brat fall to the ground. She brushed her tongue like it was on fire, reaching for my mountain dew! As she took in the Tongue Rescuing Dew, she didn't swallow- rather she allowed for the Dew to wash away the bitter taste from her not yet developed taste buds. With a serious look on her face she retorted back to me- "Daddy, you were right (words I seldom here from the women in my life!)- I didn't like it. It taste like CRAP!" As much as I enjoy that brat- I hate that my Bells had to endure such hostility from the not so (to her) delicious brat.

James in his ORTH-BRO-PRAXY, equates the tongue to both the source which produces bitter tastes, and to the way our words/actions are tasted by others. Our tongues not only are the source of Death and Life when we speak, but also how we hear/taste. Which gives refreshing insight to the proverbial statement- "I left with a bad taste in my mouth".

Obviously James doesn't want us to figure out a formula in which we speak robotically to others or like a machine sit quietly w/o response to the words of others. I think of a church I attended as a youth where in order to "be thankful for all things" we were taught to say "Thank you Jesus" after everything, especially the bad things that happen. Somehow-that doesn't seem to create a heart of gratitude, and often it was said in sarcasm or anger. Programmed Speech, well that is the actual, Spurious Religion that James is counseling us not to partake of.

As we look ahead to our Talk on James 3:13-18 this coming week- it is clear there is tension in how we choose to live in regards to our tongues. There is much Ortho-Paradoxy! Right Paradox or Right Tension. Tension is good, not bad.

So how do we discipline our tongues without become Robotic or Contrived?

Last week I read over Jonathon Edwards resolutions (70 of them). Although many may be irrelevant for us in today's world or out of our paradigm, there is much wisdom in his heart for Being the People (person) of God and seeking Kingdom Community. Perhaps we need our own Communal Resolutions concerning the tongue. A couple of J.E.'s resolutions probably would be wise for us to adopt, and refresh as our own communal resolutions:

8. Resolved, to act, in all respects, both speaking and doing, as if nobody had been so vile as I, and as if I had committed the same sins, or had the same infirmities or failings as others; and that I will let the knowledge of their failings promote nothing but shame in myself, and prove only an occasion of my confessing my own sins and misery to God.

16. Resolved, never to speak evil of anyone, so that it shall tend to his dishonor, more or less, upon no account except for some real good.

31. Resolved, never to say any thing at all against any body, but when it is perfectly agreeable to the highest degree of Christian honor, and of love to mankind, agreeable to the lowest humility, and sense of my own faults and failings, and agreeable to the golden rule; often, when I have said anything against anyone, to bring it to, and try it strictly by the test of this Resolution.

36. Resolved, never to speak evil of any, except I have some particular good call for it

58. Resolved, not only to refrain from an air of dislike, fretfulness, and anger in conversation, but to exhibit an air of love, cheerfulness and benignity. May 27, and July 13, 1723.

70. Let there be something of benevolence, in all that I speak. August 17, 1723.

Life and Death are in the power of the Tongue! All the more we should endeavor to TAME it, together. Like our Lord, and his big brother- James is writing to a Kingdom Community. There is no way we can anything alone (John 15:5 & Psalm 16:2-3..........which Beth K beautifully expounded last Friday), apart from Jesus, who is best experienced in the life of Kingdom Community.

What do we think of these resolutions? How can we rewrite them into our language (as The Riv)? What needs to be added? how do we "stimulate one another to love and good works" especially the works of the tongue? Or maybe, some of us just need to confess to one another here on this blog (don't worry about who sees this....it's not that many people!).

Let's talk this out. Some of our creative writing people- how about writing a resolution or two or rewriting Jonathon Edwards resolutions-.

"Aspiring to be An Afflux of Authentic life (w/ our tongues)" together,

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sc