To Whom It May Concern...

"I think that the Church is the only thing that is going to make the terrible world we are coming to endurable; the only thing that makes the Church endurable is that it is somehow the body of Christ and that on this we are fed."
-Flannery O’Conner – A Letter to her friend, July 20, 1955

I laughed while having dinner tonight with a friend from our community who suggested that it must be intimidating for a single female to visit our church who is aware of how many single twenty something males attend our gatherings. I imagined a little red riding hood-like character walking into a den of big bad wolves as we talked… (not that the single guys in our community are "big" "bad" or "wolves" for that matter… more so the image just made me laugh.)

But in the midst of our joking, my friend sighed and said with more then a hint of seriousness… "Just a bunch of lonely guys…"

Now, I’m not attempting to pour salt in the wound here for anyone… I myself am a single, twenty-something male… but instead, I want to confess and expose my own insecurity of often times feeling "alone" and "disconnected" from the rest of creation and ultimately to God.

I wonder if for a moment we were honest with each other… how many of us have felt or still do feel this way on a regular basis? Does anyone else besides me fear being alone?

And perhaps this is a question or feeling that also resonated with or even plagued the mind of the writer(s) of the creation story found in the book of Genesis. In chapter 2 verse 18, the writer describes that God created the man in such a way that it wasn’t good for him to be alone… rather, he needed a partner… someone who would walk beside him, understand him, love him… someone who would enter into a covenant with him… someone to be in communion or community with him.

And according to the writer, God called this "good."

In years past I interpreted this passage of scripture to mean strictly that a man or woman should search out another individual to be with… or to marry… and this action would resolve the individual’s feelings of "aloneness" or "disconnectedness"…

This caused me, for much of my youth, to have some sort strange tunnel vision in my relationships with my friends of the opposite sex... females were catergorized as "possibilities for more" and "just friends matierial".... and this demeaned the women and devalued a good portion of the friendships...

But as I’ve grown older I’ve become less convinced that this narrow interpretation is all there is to this passage… what about those who are not old enough to be married? Or those who have been married previously and cannot fathom marrying again? Is there no cure for their feelings of disconnectedness?

Perhaps even some of those who are currently married in our community can testify to the fact that once you were married… your insecurities and fear of being alone didn’t instantly dissolve…

Or what about taking simple mathematics into consideration… in a 2006 survey of the male to female ration in the world today statistics showed that there were some 33 million more men on the face of the earth than women…

But according to the scriptures, it’s not good for man (or woman for that matter) to be alone… so how is this resolved? How is it possible for us as individuals, who mathematically cannot all have a special someone out their waiting for us, to not feel disconnected… or alone.

It’s become my realization, specifically over the last year since I have begun attending the River gatherings… that God’s prescription to our disconnectedness is not found solely in romantic relationships (although I am not discrediting that romantic relationships and marriage are definitely part of God’s plan for some)… but instead God’s prescription for humanity's fears and feelings of disconnectedness is actually found in ‘the Church."

Over the last year I have found such encouragement and comfort in our church body… from the times we spend in our gatherings at the building to venturing out into our host community to volunteer and love on the men at the missions… from those who have opened up their homes for community meals and game nights to those who have offered those of us who have struggled to get on our feet a place to stay and a table to eat at… laughing together, crying together, shouldering each others burdens, confessing our own faults and correcting those in love who have wandered away…

We have shared meals, we have shared our homes…our families, our time… and our hearts…

We have realized that it isn’t good to be alone and we have chosen to live our lives together…

Perhaps this is the hope also of the author of the book of Hebrews when He penned these words… "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

Tonight I just want to encourage you if you are feeling alone or disconnected… as I have many times myself and even tonight… to take a moment to meditate and pray for our own community… perhaps you are not as alone as you think.

God’s Peace.
Josh