She Said That She Was Slave And I Told Her I Was Free. She Put Shackles On My Wrists And We Fell Onto Her Sheets.

Coming to The River for the past year has really challenged me in a lot of ways. As a lot of you know, I grew up Southern Baptist. Then during my latter high school years, moved on to Calvary Chapel (following a girl), which is basically Southern Baptists who like to surf. During my tenure in these churches, morals and rules were very well drawn out. There were no questions, only answers. I was okay with this for a long time. I had very little rebellious spirit in my younger years, simply out of fear of my grandpa (not so much God).  

At some point, Calvary started to feel very empty to me. The brightness and coolness of the atmosphere just seemed to fade to very dull colors. So I left the confines of the building called "church" and set out to find my own way. At this point in my life, my favorite song (which I listened to daily) was The Wanderer by Johnny Cash and U2. "I went out there in search of experience. To taste and to touch and to feel as much as a man can before he repents." These were words that spoke to me about exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted experience. And for the most, experience I did. I smoked, I drank, I cussed, I took pills. This was all very new ground to me, but it felt more real than what was being pushed on me at "church". I had a craving to understand how "the other side" lived. But I still found this to be empty ("Vanity, vanity). There were no answers, only questions.  

When I found my way to The River, I discovered something that I hadn't before. I could call it a lot of things, but at the core was community. There weren't rules dictating my life. There wasn't a sense of arrogance that seems to follow knowledge or understanding. There was simply honesty. Honest people seeking out an honest way to follow the teachings and the life of Jesus. There was/is no need for me to be something that I am not and I value that. There are bits and pieces of both previous eras of my life that stuck. I still am pretty conservative when you get right down to my core. I still smoke, drink and cuss. However, now I feel free to discover what it means to truly live in the freedom Christ grants and I know that along my journey, I will have a family to support me.  

Psalm 1 1:1 Blessed is the man who doesn’t walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the way of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers; 1:2 but his delight is in Yahweh’s law. On his law he meditates day and night. 1:3 He will be like a tree planted by the streams of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also does not wither. Whatever he does shall prosper.