Unlearning How to Talk

Tonight in our gathering with The River, Sam led us in an exploration of James 1:18-25. One of the scriptures we read and talked about and meditated upon was “let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger”. This particular passage really evoked my attention and I admit I wanted to sprint and tell everyone what my spin on it would be and how clever I am at interpreting it, but what really struck me was the way in which it really nails me to the wall (or cross) in daily life. My concern is more times than not speaking what I want the other person to hear rather than having me hear the other person. Even when another is telling me their opinion I frequently wonder the words, “When are they going to stop talking so I can really dazzle them with my knowledge of how things really are?” Of course, I am much too clever in my evil to think things in this direct sort of way, but I do tend to fell the gist of that thought.

It really is at the essence of selfishness for me to look at the world this way and I was convicted tonight that I am a part of the problem in my world of brokenness, as I look only on my interests and not the interests of others. I seek to be heard rather than to understand. I seek to insert my spin on the world without any regard to whether it might be right or not. My anger does seem to be connected to this, as well, as something can be truly small, but my mouth can erode it into something massive.

This brings to my mind a story from my childhood. Many years ago when I was in elementary school, my brother, who is seven years older than I am, and I were not getting along. I was angry with him and was looking for a way to get back at him. So, he was on the phone one day talking with who I assumed was his girlfriend at the time. I did not hear what he was saying but I could apparently tell he was talking on the phone, so I listened for my moment and the moment came. He sat the phone down on the bed and walked out of the room and I sprang to action. I went and picked up the phone and yelled in my most obnoxious voice the words, “Who in the hell is this?” I soon found out as the response came to me in a very familiar voice, “Jason? Is that you?” and I soon felt an overwhelming shock of numbness run through my body, as I was so paralyzed with fear that I dropped the phone back onto the bed and ran out of the room. I could soon hear my brother say something to the effect of “He said what?” He immediately came into the room after the phone call and expressed to me that I was going to get it when Daddy got home and my Dad was true to his word.

That story often reminds me of many conversations and relationships I have had with people in which I have made large assumptions about who they are without taking the time to really listen or understand. I barge in unannounced, unconcerned, and uninvited (in some cases) with the only intent being that of wanting to be heard. It is like the fool who “takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” This post tonight hopefully will be the first step of change (or repentance) towards God’s work of recreation in my life and my community. God, help us to receive with humility your word of truth through which we can be rescued from our pride and selfishness and own loud voice. Help us to unlearn our tendency to talk first and listen second. Your will be done in our mouth as it is in heaven. In Jesus’ Name or Kingdom, amen.

Jason # 2