I have made it-August 2009 has come and gone. I am now considered cured, a "survivor." It has been seven years since you entered into my life. The physical scars are minimal at this point-lungs don't work so great, and memory still gives out occasionally, but in spite of everything, I am glad we met.
You changed me. I was super Christian-from the outside. My checklist of things I did for God was full (taught Sunday school, choir, Awana, nursery, visitation). I had it all covered, but you took that ability of Doing away. I was left with nothing-or so I thought. You gave me time to be still and quietly fall in love with my Creator. I developed an intimate relationship with a God that I love.
19 year old me promised to love Sam Crum through sickness, bad, poor-naively thinking these things would never happen to us. But you forced us to live those vows and we were made a stronger couple for it. To know that in this life I have been loved so passionately and authentically by my husband-quite a gift you gave me.
I watched my children as my mom moved in to take over my role. I love her for her immense sacrifice, but could not wait to be Victoria, Zach, and Luke's mom again. I relish my role in being here for them-the thought that that could be taken away still haunts me on occasion.
You were supposed to leave me infertile but God had other plans. Hosanna, Isabella, and baby Jude Rae needed to join our family. Precious angels, kissed by God that have brought unspeakable joy. All healthy, our miracles.
A lot of my acquaintances were scared out of my life because of you. But my true friends stepped up to encourage and support us in whatever way we needed. That is who I strive to be to those around me today.
I am whole, healed, free. You are gone, but I will not forget you because of how you changed my life. So thank you cancer for stopping by.
-Samantha
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